house searching

Jesse adn I made a bid on a house today. What are we thinking? I don't know I think this will seal the rest of my life in provo. Please kill me now. I told Jesse I would be happy as long as I was with him, was that true? Well I feel like if we get this house than it will be a great deal, but as my father in law put it, "you need five bedrooms like you need a hole in the head." That is very true, but houses are the same price iwht two bedrooms. I think I am really irritable aabout this because it is a huge commitment and wow I feel like I'm marrying someone again.
I can't beliee how fast time is flying. Jesse and I are approaching 7 nonths of marriage. Erin is six months along. Kids are getting older, I have ben working at my new job for two months, teh Adreadakis reunion is drawing closer and etc. I have to say after attending Erins baby shower that I'm glad that i am not in a BYU married ward because it feels like the race to the baby. It is way too much pressure. What if you couldn't ahve kids? You would be scrutnized and judged.
Jesse is makin gme wake up at 8 on my day off, what a horrid man. Man is a strong word to call Jesse, maybe he will be called that when he can get his butt going without me being his mother. Can you tell I am annoyd wiht him today?
I went swimming iwht the girls today. We cleaned cars then went swimming. It was a lot of fun. I feel like I have felt disconnected from Krystal and part of me has started becoming annoyed at her for that, so I 'm sorry Krystal, you deserve a friend who would just say Krystal I mss you sometimes. It was good to see Dara. She is moving back to provo soon. We can be stuck in Provo together for the next few years, oh lovely. Well I love you girls, you make life enjoyable again. Oh i must mention Ashlee as well, she is my running buddy, who just lets me talk, oh how I need that. Anyway I love everyone else too.

Speed please

We went camping this weekend. Oh yes camping as a married couple has certain unexpected perks - and yes it was monumental. Anyway, Jesse and I got to watch a puppy over the weekend. I don't think that we are ready for children. On my day off I kept thinking why is this sooo hard to get this puppy just to lay down and sleep. So it all begins. I went to my first relief society enrichment night tonight. We made freezer jam. I felt entirely weird and out of place. I think I have been spending too much time with kids recently. My friends played Feelings Uno last night. I thought it was therapeutic, but I think everyone else just thought I was annoying. I think that I m writin glike I am on speed. So I found the God Squad video on my wall. There was a video??? It was one of those moments I chose to forget. My gay ex really does look gay in it. I will never forget the embarresment. HOnestly I don't think kids likeme. I miss Dara. I am really not ready for a long day tomorrow